Aristophanes, Plutus
Eugene O'Neill, Jr., Ed.

They enter Chremylus' house.

Cario
To the Chorus, which has followed him in
Come, you active workers, who, like my master, eat nothing but garlic and the poorest food, you who are his friends and his neighbors, [255] hasten your steps, hurry yourselves; there's not a moment to lose; this is the critical hour, when your presence and your support are needed by him.

Leader of the Chorus
Why, don't you see we are speeding as fast as men can, who are already enfeebled by age? But do you deem it fitting to make us run like this before ever telling us [260] why your master has called us?

Cario
I've grown hoarse with the telling, but you won't listen. My master is going to drag you all out of the stupid, sapless life you are leading and ensure you one full of all delights.

Leader of the Chorus
And how is he going to manage that?

Cario
[265] My poor friends, he has brought with him a disgusting old fellow, all bent and wrinkled, with a most pitiful appearance, bald and toothless; upon my word, I even believe he is circumcised like some vile barbarian.

Leader of the Chorus
This news is worth its weight in gold! What are you saying? Repeat it to me; no doubt it means he is bringing back a heap of wealth.

Cario
[270] No, but a heap of all the infirmities attendant on old age.

Leader of the Chorus
If you are tricking us, you shall pay us for it. Beware of our sticks!

Cario
Do you deem me so brazen as all that, and my words mere lies?

Leader of the Chorus
[275] What serious airs the rascal puts on! Look! his legs are already shrieking, “oh! oh!” They are asking for the shackles and wedges.

Cario
It's in the tomb that it's your lot to judge. Why don't you go there? Charon has given you your ticket.

Leader of the Chorus
Plague take you! you cursed rascal, [280] who rail at us and have not even the heart to tell us why your master has made us come. We were pressed for time and tired out, yet we came with all haste, and in our hurry we have passed by lots of wild onions without even gathering them.

Cario
I will no longer conceal the truth from you. Friends, it's Plutus [285] whom my master brings, Plutus, who will give you riches.

Leader of the Chorus
What! we shall really all become rich?

Cario
Aye, certainly; you will then be Midases, provided you grow ass's ears.

Leader of the Chorus
What joy, what happiness! If what you tell me is true, I long to dance with delight.